by Yesenia Chavez, Austin, TX (age 13 when written)
What do I really need? That isn't a hard question. I really need some help from doctors to find a cure for my sickness. I need help to get better and stronger. I know what my sickness is. It is called Hypothyroidism. I have had this sickness ever since I was 8 days old. So now that I am 13 years old, I should know what's going on and how the doctors are going to help me.
My doctor prescribed medicine that heals my hands when they get stiff. It is called Rocaltrol. Now I take 4 tablets every morning. This medicine tastes awful and has no taste at all. Inside of the pill it has water but doesn't taste good. Every month I take Tums just to keep my health leveled. Now those have a good taste! What the doctors are trying to do is finding some kind of medicine to help my bones grow. I know that my bones stopped growing 2 or 3 three years ago. Every year I know I grow about an inch or two. The doctors said that there isn't a cure for my sickness right now but if they ever find a cure, they said they would notify me immediately.
Sometimes my sickness scares me so at nights I cry. My mom always tells me that there is a cure somewhere it's just that people are not looking right. Every time I am with my mom I feel safe. I am not talking about she guarding me, I am talking about that she is never on drugs and she doesn't lie or make up stuff about me. She is always there for me so that's why I feel my mom is safe. I also feel the same way about my dad.
In tons of ways I help myself. By doing that I know I will be able to grow and stay strong. I eat everyday, I sometimes lift weights, and I never starve myself just because I get a little fat. I realized that some people care more about their figure than their health. But my figure isn't all that perfect. I have a little fatness in my stomach but that is good because it tells me that I have gained weight. For example, my sister has a little fatness in her but she doesnąt care because she thinks she is healthy.
Now that I am 13 years old, I can start taking care of myself and not rely on my parents. I am trying to keep myself healthy like my parents would do. I need to eat right, take my pills every morning no matter what, and do push myself to do things that I can't do. I remember when I got very sick I had to go to the hospital and they said I had very low calcium so I had to stay the night till I raised it up to 7.5. So that was a tough job to do but I did it in 3 days and I got the chance to go home and raise it up to my average calcium level which is 8.6. So that is why I need to take better care of myself. I think my sickness is sometimes helpful. Since my friends are so tall, they can't reach the bottom since they can't bend more like me. They always come to me when they need to reach things that low. Sometimes they ask me to go through small, skinny places. That is one thing I like about my sickness, is wanted to be needed.
One thing I hate about my sickness is sometimes people mistake me for a little girl instead of a 13 year old. Some people know how that feels to be mistaken that way. It's harsh to be left out like that. My family doesn't know how I feel because they are at the height they are supposed to be at. I know my true friends know how I feel because theyare always with me when they make that mistake. Just like at the beginning of the school year, everyone thought I was a 6th grader but the shortest one. Sometimes I wish I can be my average height instead of being the way I am right now.
My friends think my sickness is good and bad at the same time because they like me the way I am. My best friends never tease me about my height unless we joke around like friends always do. They are always there for me no matter what. My friends always pray for me because they want me to grow like a girl should.
Sometimes people really need help to get better. I know I do.
Reprinted with the generous permission of Writing Austin's Lives. In March 2003, the University of Texas at Austin's Humanities Institute invited city residents of all ages and backgrounds to share brief personal stories. The goal was at once simple and sweeping: to create a vivid portrait of life in Austin, told by ordinary people who don't usually have a chance to tell their stories, and shared across neighborhoods in this fast-paced city. This essay is one of the hundreds submitted.